What does the Quran say about parents?

Where does the Qur’an link parents to worship?

The pairing is direct. Qur’an 17:23 states that your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and to parents good treatment. The two instructions sit in one sentence. The same pairing appears in Qur’an 4:36, which begins with worshipping God and associating nothing with Him, and moves immediately to doing good to parents before extending outward to relatives, neighbours and travellers. Qur’an 31:14 closes with an instruction to be grateful to God and to parents, again placing the two together.

What does the Qur’an say about parents in old age?

It is unusually specific. Qur’an 17:23 states that if one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of contempt — the Arabic is a single syllable of irritation, uff — and do not repel them, but speak to them a noble word. The verse that follows asks for something more than restraint: lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they raised me when I was small" Qur’an 17:24. The instruction is not merely to tolerate but to pray for them, and the reason given is their care during childhood.

Does the Qur’an single out the mother?

It does, and it grounds the emphasis in something concrete. Qur’an 31:14 describes a mother carrying her child in weakness upon weakness, with weaning at two years. Qur’an 46:15 states that his mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and gives the period of gestation and weaning as thirty months. In both cases the text names the specific burden rather than asserting status in the abstract. The often-quoted saying that paradise lies at the feet of the mother is from hadith rather than the Qur’an, and is not cited here.

Is there any limit to obeying parents?

Yes, and the Qur’an states it plainly in the verse right after the one instructing gratitude. If they strive to make you associate with God that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them Qur’an 31:15. The same verse continues without pause: accompany them in this world with kindness. The limit is placed on obedience in a single matter, and it is explicitly not a licence to withdraw kindness. Qur’an 29:8 makes the same point in nearly the same terms.

What about parents who are not Muslim?

The passages above address exactly this case. Qur’an 31:15 and Qur’an 29:8 both describe parents actively pressing their child toward a belief the Qur’an rejects, and both respond the same way: do not obey them in that, and continue to treat them well. Qur’an 60:8 states more generally that God does not forbid dealing kindly and justly with those who have not fought you over religion or driven you from your homes. The Qur’an does not make good treatment conditional on shared belief.

Common questions

What is the most quoted verse about parents in the Qur’an?

Qur’an 17:23-24 — the instruction not to say even a word of impatience to parents in old age, to speak to them nobly, to lower the wing of humility, and to pray for mercy on them because they raised you.

Does the Qur’an say mothers deserve more than fathers?

The Qur’an addresses both parents together in its instructions, and singles out the mother for specific mention of the hardship of pregnancy, birth and weaning Qur’an 31:14 Qur’an 46:15. It does not state a ranking in those terms.

Can you disobey your parents according to the Qur’an?

In one situation. Qur’an 31:15 says not to obey them if they press you to associate others with God — and instructs, in the same verse, to keep company with them in kindness regardless.

The Surahs this page draws on

Every verse quoted above comes from one of these chapters. Each is set out in full — why it was revealed, and what it teaches.

• 4. An-Nisa — The Women
• 17. Al-Isra — The Night Journey
• 29. Al-Ankabut — The Spider
• 31. Luqman — Luqman
• 46. Al-Ahqaf — The Wind-Curved Sandhills
• 60. Al-Mumtahanah — She That Is to Be Examined